Win in Love
Bethany K Scanlon
Christian marriage. A match made in heaven.
Where's My Mate?
"Follow this bible study, do the work, and you can be married or engaged in one year"
(God has led me to say this to multiple people. God answered their faith, and they indeed were married in one year. You've got miracle faith and Jesus. Let's put your faith to work, overcome your blocks, and find your Mate! Jesus loves you and He will answer Faith!.)
A series of books for Single Christians who want a real match made in heaven: Alignment of Calling, True Friendship, a Partner in Faith!
I started life in a broken home, as an abused girl raised to be an atheist. I ultimately engaged in a party lifestyle doing everything the world said was fun. It was...for a while.
God saved my life miraculously in a car wreck, then He healed me supernaturally from ovarian cancer. I became a Christian. My life changed. At that time I had a husband who I met in a bar and we partied together. He didn't want my new life, so he filed for a divorce.
I then was starting over. I had nothing but the bible and a hope that God was real, and He had saved me for a purpose. I learned that I could pray, and that I should pray specifically. So I did...for a Christian Mate.
Where's My Mate is my story of God bringing my husband and I together. After a few years of marriage, God led me to write the book, and then confirmed His word with signs and wonders.
Since my first publishing, the book has reached people the world over, helping them find their mates. I've led people to Christ in bookstores at signings, read wonderful testimonies from many different countries, and seen amazing deliverance and redeeming power for people of all ages!
After Where's My Mate, I was led to add a supporting "Where's My Mate Bible Study" which will teach you step by step how to find healing, write your Mate List, observe 20 Biblical Sign Posts, and learn how to observe Red Flags. I wrote a 40 Day devotional in which I truly believe God reveals His word and will bring you healing as you get ready for your spouse!
After speaking with Christian Singles of all ages from all over the world
... Finding a Godly Spouse is not only possible, it's a promise!
Within 5 minutes of speaking with a Christian Single, I usually know what their strongholds are and why they haven't yet been married. I've told a few people, "Do this bible study, and in ONE YEAR, you can be married, or at least engaged". 100% Success. How is that possible? Jesus answers faith.
But I have faith! I'm doing everything right" I only meet crazy people! No one would ever want me ! I'm too old! I've got baggage! I haven't met anyone in years! I need to wait until I get all my garbage fixed!
As an author, I've heard it all, from all over the world. Here is the good news: Jesus is the author of YOUR FAITH. I don't have the magic pill, but rather these books show steps to work with Him to breakthrough. I've watched Jesus work past people's ideas of what was possible many times.
I can hear it now: "but I told you I have faith!" I hear you, I really do. The Lord spoke to me years ago to write these books. These books are practical at the same time full of godly wisdom I didn't notice until He revealed His word. His wisdom is strong and His word works.
The simple truth is that Jesus is in the business of helping His people get married by breaking off of their lives the hindrances that have held them back. Those hindrances range from spiritual curses to simply bad manners. Usually it's a mix of things.
These books will take you through a process of Jesus breaking blockages and building your faith. Your perfect moment is closer than you think. Really. I promise you, He will answer your faith. Let's get you married.
"It's so refreshing to hear someone teach these topics concerning Christian Singles, dating, and getting healed. I wish I had heard you 10 years ago!"
I could keep going. Most of all, He led me to my husband, and we watched God deliver us over and over during our friendship, through engagement, and throughout our marriage. We have a miracle daughter now, perfect in every way after 13 years of trying to have children!
Solution: God sent me to my first pastor, Pastor Earl, who was kind enough to refuse to hear from God for me. I once asked him if something was from God.
He looked at me and ask "Do I look like the great I AM to you? Get in your bible and find your peace!".
Pastor Earl forced me to pursue God on my own. Scripture is clear that those who thirst will be filled. I was thirsty. I begged God to help me hear from Him, and I chased Him at services all over Florida, Texas, and Louisiana. I go to where His presence is to meet with him (in addition to my own home of course!).
Solution: God has continually placed me at the right place and right time, but early in my faith, I met the wrong people. I had to lay aside my sin, pursue God relentlessly, and earnestly seek Him.
When it was time for me to get married, he sent me across three states and four churches to meet my husband. It's honestly getting healed in your sole, laying aside sin, and having an expectation and faith that God will put you in the right place at the right time.
It really is about faith and healing.
I get emails from all over the world. I've taught bible studies on the topic of Finding your Mate for over ten years. I've spoken in just about every situation you can image.
My favorite however... is a small bible study group.
This is where people can start getting honest.
Frankly, these topics aren't super fun to discuss, and it takes a bit of vulnerability to talk about why it has been a challenge to meet people or get past mistakes you have made.
We all have our worst date stories, but what do you say when every date is the worst date? You keep meeting weird people?!?
That's where this bible study is different perhaps than others. I've read others, and some I've found helpful. I think the reason the Lord dealt with me to write these books is because His church needs a practical view on meeting safe people and building personal faith!
Why can I speak to this? Let's go down the list:
Problem: Unbelief and Doubt, raised in atheist home by abusers.
Problem: I don't know how to hear from God
Problem: Finding someone
Teach the Want to Find your Mate? series.
Here are some basic principles:
Holiness: Separation unto God for His purposes. In terms of singleness; you practice a life free of sin, in faith, and bearing fruit for God.
Marriage: Biblically defined marriage between one man and one woman.
Holy Marriage: Marriage as orchestrated by God in which He brings the man and woman together, and they pledge to honor Him in their marriage.
Love: 1 Corinthians 13 - Love is defined in God's terms, not anyone else's. You know you are loved by God. From that love, you love others.
Healing: Wounds come from many different source (sin, disappointment, generational curses, etc.), but healing comes from Jesus Christ.
For your Bible Study
The Where's My Mate Bible Study has proven to be great for churches and Bible Studies meeting in homes. When I teach these in person, almost without fail I have people from every denomination in one room, more men than women, and the bible study grows larger in every session.
I focus on knowing God and His power to save. This isn't a checklist; it's a process in which you have your own discussion with Jesus and you get your faith together.
In every session, people find out where their strongholds lie. Through group discussion they learn to see where they have been blind, and where they can be open to new possibilities.
To respect those who haven't yet been married, it truly is a process. However, this bible study will ask questions of your group they haven't asked of themselves, and they will encounter a different perspective on asking Jesus for a mate. It's all about building their relationship with Christ.
These two books are meant for the bible study.
Where's My Mate? is the story of how God brought I and my husband together and the biblical principles God lays out in His word.
The Want to Find Your Mate? Bible Study is the text for the Bible Study. The chapters are meant to be done partially in group settings, with discussion.
Preparing for a Mate is a devotional where Bethany spent 40 days in the presence of God and reading His word to get revelation.
She simply journaled what she believed the Lord was "saying" through His word and to her heart. These devotionals are simple and short, yet very powerful. The Lord directed Bethany to portions of scripture which really does a great job of opening your eyes!
This devotional has helped people the world over see their challenges in a completely different light, allowing them to get healing!
This devotional specifically targets preparing someone to be ready to meet their mate.
People form opinions quickly. That first introductions is crucial. Be healed and ready for the mate God has for you!
Patrick and Kristen
Ginger and Rich
My husband of 26 years died in 2003. I remained unmarried for 11 ½ years until God brought the man I had prayed for. During the eleven years, God did a lot of healing to get me ready for my wonderful husband and prepare me to be the wife he needed. I had been on different online dating sites but all I met were men who professed to be Christians but did not live it as a lifestyle. I don’t know exactly when I decided to try something else, because what I was doing was not working. I thought if God wanted me to marry someone, He would bring him to me.
After 10 years, I realized that was not going to happen. I felt led to get some help and that’s when I was introduced to Bethany Scanlon and chose to attend her bible study, Want to Find your Mate? Bible Study. When Bethany read the scripture on being double minded, God convicted me I was double-minded in my prayer for my mate. I made a list of 17 qualifications for my future husband. My friends said that was no man would fit my description. After praying over my list, I put it on the shelf for 3 years and waited for Lord to operate. Also, I joined ChristianMingle.com (dating website) at my daughter’s urging. When I was filling out the biographical information, I prayed over what to write. For my paragraph, I felt led to write Love the Lord with all your heart, mind and soul and love your neighbor as yourself (Matthew 22:37) but nothing else.
My first wife died in March 2013 after a fierce 4-year battle with metastasized breast cancer. During that time, I moved from husband to, in the end, a caretaker – grieving daily as the cancer and chemo treatments began to take more and more of who she was. I was numb afterwards for a few months but I was still working, my work became my lifeline to continue moving forward. Gradually I began to move from my shell to look beyond myself.
I was beginning to realize I did not want to spend the rest of my life by myself (even though at the time I was 69, I was still full of life). While talking to one of my daughters mid-summer, 2013, about the loneliness, she suggested I try ChristianMingle.com – i.e., an online dating service. Feeling encouraged, I signed up and systematically began to create a list of available ladies, which “sounded” like they might be acceptable as a person to meet and begin to know more deeply. I quickly became disillusioned after I realized most of the people were hiding either who they were, some type of baggage, or the real state of their relationship with Jesus. I had just ended one such relationship because I realized the lady actually despised the spiritual part of the person whom I was. It was at this point that our stories move together.
I reviewed the person’s information on ChristianMingle.com called “Texas Spice Girl”. She indicated she was looking for someone who attended church, as least weekly which was what I also wanted. She indicated that she lived in Richmond, Texas, which was great since I was currently living in Sugar Land, TX (which isn’t too far from Richmond). When I looked for information describing who she was, all that was there was a scripture: Love the Lord with all your heart and love your neighbor as yourself. This sounded interesting so I sent back a note asking ”do you really love the Lord with all your heart?” Somewhat puzzled, she responded with a simple “yes”. In the course of our on-line conversions, she had signed the note “Ginger” so I realized the “Texas Spice Girl” was just “Ginger”, and not something more exotic.
After that “yes”, we made a date to meet at Café Express for lunch – a lunch which was about four hours of deep, God based, conversation. After that, we began dating and learned more about each other. We both were involved in Prayer Ministry at our churches. We even supported some of the same ministries and had the same Love Languages. God is amazing! We even had prayers answered that we never voiced. We have an awesome God.
We were engaged the first of January 2014 and started planning our wedding. Bethany Scanlon hosted my Bridal Shower. I was thrilled; I had never had a Bridal Shower so it was very special. I was so excited, I felt like a young girl planning her first wedding.
Trying to pick a date was difficult. My daughter wanted us to wait one year, but we said no. We tried to pick out a date but had conflicts so we chose April 5, 2014. My daughter planned a beautiful wedding which involved all our kids. Rich has three girls and four grandchildren. I have two children, a daughter who has two sons and my son has three children, two girls and one son. Everyone was involved in our beautiful wedding and bonded together.
Three years before I had a word from the Lord to pay off my house and get ready to go. At the same moment, I had a vision of being on the arm of a man with a plaid shirt but was not sure what that meant. I had imagined this was a rancher or cowboy and was very surprised to meet Rich, a chemical engineer, wearing that plaid shirt. Bethany Scanlon told me “your man will come in a different package than you are expecting.” He certainly did. Rich is so much more than I had envisioned. Rich is 100% match to my mate list.
Bethany K Scanlon
Christian Author, Christian Singles